It takes a special type of scumbag to heckle at a comedy show. They are drunk, attention hungry unoriginal douchebags who don’t have the smarts or balls to tell jokes themselves. The comedian aside, they also ruin the other patrons’ experience. Lastly, most of them paid to get in and then get booted. That’s just bad money policy. I guess not everyone was held as a baby.
I had a show the other night. The crowd was very good, which was impressive because they supported the comics and the burlesque dancers with equal energy. Until my pal Justin’s set… A drooling mouthbreathing lady decided to talk, very loudly, for no reason, about things other than his act. The staff approached and told them if they couldn’t quiet down, they would be asked to leave. Her answer? “I would ask you to fuck off!” Classy and intelligent, I see.
What happened next made my small and cold heart warm. Justin addressed it, she kept blabbing. “Well, I get it, she needs the attention. She’s mildly attractive now, but it’ll disappear soon.” She got rage pissed and her whole table ended up walking. The beauty was that the insult appeared to be in that her looks would fade, but it was actually in the mildly attractive part of the statement. The only amazing part is that she was genuinely surprised that she ruined the show for all parties, yet the guy with a microphone would dare interrupt her important conversation! What a dick! I can only hope a history of inbreeding in her family line has wrecked her ability to reproduce herself.