I did a show at an urban bar last Friday. For those of you not in touch with politically correct lingo, it meant I was one of two white people at a black club. The show went well, although I was one of two comics that didn’t rap or dance during my act (the other white guy did). If I’m dancing, take my car keys. If I’m rapping, take my life.
After the show, a lady came up to me, visibly intoxicated. “You did pretty a good job for a white guy in a ghetto bar.” OK, thanks, I said. and she went on for a while about it. Finally, I told her I have done enough hillbilly white trash bars I can handle about anything after that. She looked at me quizzically, “I’m not from Ohio. What is white trash?” I had to stop and think.
First, white trash, while definitely in Ohio, are not necessarily indigenous to the region. White trashius majorius has many subspecies throughout the world. Second, really? You don’t know? I had to think for a second. “I guess the easy definition is they don’t work, get drunk in the morning and try to fight people at bars all night.” Not the best answer, but I was on the spot. She didn’t hesitate to respond. “I like to drink in morning, am I black trash?” Great, I walked into that one. “Do you fight people?” “No.” “I think you’re safe.” Then I got the hell out of that conversation before I got into another verbal quagmire. Plus, I like to drink in the morning too…I see where this is going.