I went with my lady to an MLS game between Columbus and Houston. Lesson one? It’s a match, not a game. Damn Euros and their weird fake sports lingo. Plus the clock goes up, not down, then it’s not done because of magic invisible bonus time. I is too dumb for this.
I actually enjoy the sport, the scoring chances are exciting because they’re not all that common. The only drawback is that the sport’s gamesmanship means these assholes flop around on the ground like they got gored by an angry bull. Oh well, it’s still better than the vuvuzelas or whatever those horns are. That’s a great idea – get annoying loud horns, then pass them out to children who have no concept of rage-inducing noise over prolonged time periods.
This is unrelated to soccer, but $8 beers should be illegal. Or I need to find my flask. One of those two. I know Congress does nothing and half of them are drunks. I think we can get this done. Someone tell Boehner to quit tanning (you’re in your sixties, douche), McCain to quit playing iPhone poker, Reid to quit drooling and Pelosi to quit getting her face pulled back and stapled to the back of her neck – let’s come together and lower my beer prices. (Insert Stars and Stripes Forever music)