I got a notice that Blockbuster is finally going out of business and was having a clearance sale. I didn’t know there were any left, but what the hell, I like a good deal. If you go early, you get OK savings, but good selections. If I had waited, the deals would probably be great, I’d be picking up copies President’s Day (a movie with a murderous Lincoln impersonator) or Air Bud 7, where Air Bud gets in a Monday night darts league at South Side Bar and Grill.
After picking up a few movies, I went to check out. To set the scene, there are at least 14 huge signs in the windows saying “Clearance!”, “Everything Must Go!”, and “$9.99 after savings!” all over the windows, plus about 40 smaller versions in the store, which has about 10,000 movies. A man walked in, wearing a Lakers shirt, Lakers coat, and Lakers hat. “You guys having a movie sale?” The employees, who will soon be working elsewhere, looked at him with hate and contempt. “Yes.” The man looked unsatisfied. “How many movies?” At least four people stared at him, then all looked at the thousands of movies. “All of them.”
You would have thought the man would have been shamed by the stupidity of the situation, but no, he was still going. “Are they a good price? $9?” Blank stares from the manager. “They’ll all marked.” The Lakers fan paused. “Are the ones in middle on sale?” What made this question great is that nothing was marked to make the movies in the middle special, this dumbass just wanted to know if the movies in a particular section of the store were on sale…which they were…because everything was on sale, thus the dozens of signs indicating exactly that. The manager had enough at that point. “Why don’t you go see for yourself, man?” The concept washed over Laker Larry like a revelation from the heavens. I realized at that moment just who buys copies of Air Bud 7 and President’s Day.