– If you call immediately after sending an email, but clearly before the person you sent the email to could possibly read said communication, then turn on a stove and stick your head inside.
– Do random spam boner emails actually work? I receive five to ten a week, yet have never responded ever. Maybe I’m missing the boat. Look out for erectile dysfunction emails from chriscoencomedy.com.
– Snow in March is too much. It’s like getting free beer when you’re lying in your own vomit in a truck stop bathroom. Only me? Well, forget it…it sucks.
– I heard someone mention Oprah last night. Is she still alive? Probably. Can’t say I would care either way.