The carnival has moved indoors

The fair was always a big deal in my smaller town.  I remember the death trap rides, the horrible food (I still can’t eat pork sandwiches thanks to a rather violent puking episode in 1992), and the games.  I got decent at the ring the bell with the hammer game.  It was great because the carnie gave all us 14 year olds a cigar if we hit the bell.  Take that, rules of society!

Now, they have nicer versions of carnivals like Dave and Buster’s.  It’s cleaner, they serve booze, and you get tickets instead of cheap, stale cigars.  I laughed to myself as my girlfriend and I filled up a huge bucket, spilling over the edge.  These rubes cater to kids, but now they’re dealing with a seasoned veteran, skilled in games of chance!  After two hours we went to collect our rewards.  New iPad mini?  Xbox?  “1120 tickets, sir.”  I then realized we had enough for a whoopie cushion, a rubber band gun, and after another run…a head massager that appeared similar to a whisk you make scrambled eggs with.  By my calculations, if I go every day and drop about $50 a shift, I should have something useful by mid-November.