Predictions for the near future –
Kris Jenner is caught selling drugs to children when she backs out of her deal with Satan to make her family famous for doing nothing useful for society. Ironically, the deal should have voided because anyone that worthless clearly has no soul.
Lindsay Lohan is so depressed from her latest Hollywood bomb that she starts doing drugs and goes to jail for a repeat offense. Due to the harshness of California’s laws, she has to spend FOUR DAYS in jail. She is released and amazingly makes an even worse movie than Canyons. She is so depressed she starts doing drugs and…
Flo from Progressive starts a turf war with the guitar duo from Geico which ends in the violent death of all three. America declares a national holiday. There is much celebrating.
Justin Bieber almost runs out of ways to be a horribly annoying douche, but converts to Scientology. Tom Cruise then marries him, driving thousands of women to suicide.
Fox comes out with another animated series. It is so unfunny, that the ink used to make it goes on strike and the show is cancelled.