I tagged along with my lady to Victoria’s Secret last weekend. File it under, “Sounds great! Wait, this isn’t cool at all!” I realized they are good at overwhelming all your senses. That apparently sells more bras. Videos of underwear models are drowned out by dance music, which is forgotten about when the wafting scents of overpriced perfumes invade your nostrils. Thankfully, because the music is awful. It’s the music you expect in a nightclub in a bad 80’s action movie, but made this year.
I got to hold her purse, which was actually nice, since while she was trying on things, I realized without the purse, I looked like a bearded perv just hanging out at the underwear store. “Hey lady, that’s a sexy thong you got there!” My mind was blown, however, right before we left. I saw a Muslim woman, full head wrap and all, buying some lingerie. I’m pretty sure a sultry bare ankle will do – let’s not overload his senses. Then again, if you have to be covered all the time, maybe that’s all you wear when you’re home. Of course, that would have meant my dad was Muslim, because he hung out in his underwear a lot when I was growing up. Maybe I should brush up on my cultural studies.