My favorite audience member ever

I emceed an open mike the other night.  The lineup was strong and even better, there was a very attentive and yet hard drinking crowd.  I also got to remember another story between comics.  A girl several years ago in a bar overheard one of my buddies call me Coen.  “Oh, your name is Coen?  Are you named after the O.C. character?”  Yes, my mom got a time machine before I was born and watched the popular series on Fox 25 years in the future, went back, and named me after one of the lead actors.  “You’re a dick!”  You’re dumb.  Then we parted, never to speak again.

The highlight of the night, though, was a guy asked me to mention his son’s birthday.  I got his son’s name…then he reached in his wallet and handed me $20.  I would’ve have done it for free.  Hell, for $20, I’ll dress up like a woman and tap dance for your ass.  It was the first time I have ever been tipped.  I should’ve felt guilty, but luckily I have no soul and it was an easy thing to do.  It was great.  Now I’m going to charge for everything I would’ve done for free.  Thanks, birthday dad!