Well, my life has drastically changed – I moved in with my girlfriend last week. I have noticed a few things are different. There are a lot motivational sayings in the house, for one. I won’t have to remember to live life to the fullest now, it’s right there! Also, she has these things called “vegetables” in the fridge. I have heard of them, even seen them in restaurants and grocery stores, but not in an actual home for about a decade. Interesting.
I know she’s super excited to hear all my ideas on how to make her house cooler. I’m doing some research on a bald eagle sanctuary, but am focusing on some short term ideas first, like putting a fireman’s pole that goes to the basement and installing urinals on each floor. That would be really convenient for me.
The best part is that my whole life I have never had someone to cook and clean for me full time! Can you believe I actually had to get my own beers? Myself? She’s going to love the feeling of being needed – trust me, I know women. Hmm, that’s strange, there’s a warm sensation running down my neck…oh, that’s blood from where she just stabbed me for typing this blog. Well, I better get to the hospital, talk to everyone soon!