I about had a moment at Michael’s

Sometimes things happen that are cool, but being rather sarcastic and a bit of a curmudgeon in my 30’s, I wait for the catch.  Last week, my lovely lady decided to buy, yes I’m being serious, some custom artwork for the basement.  Artwork of Captain America.  For in the house.  For people to see.  There must be a terrible toll soon to be extracted…I must look out for a kitchen remodel in my near future…

This is what my dreams look like

Well, with this, the most amazing piece of art this guy has ever seen, I now have to build a moat around the house, since everyone with an eye for beauty will try and steal my shit.  Trust me, I know art.  I used to have dogs playing poker AND dogs shooting pool on my walls.  We went to Michael’s to get a frame for it when I saw a nice frame.  Frames always have a dumb nature pic or some white people laughing, in case you’re too stupid to know what frames look like with pictures inside.  That’s when it happened.

I saw one that said memorial display.  It was recessed and the insert was of a retriever, three pictures, including one with a little boy.  Underneath it said, “Duke, 1998-2012.”  I felt a strange thing inside that wasn’t anger or a buzz and I didn’t like it.  This must be what humans refer to as “sadness”…  Damn you, cheap picture frame!  Now I have to go out and punch a stranger to get my groove back.  This ruined my night.  OK, punch an innocent person and run over a bicyclist.  I hope you’re happy, memorial display makers.  A lot of good people are going to get hurt over this.