Strange title? Perhaps, but I am doing a rarity this Tuesday – a benefit show for a person I’ve actually met. My pal, fellow comedian Bob Cook, is having a fund raiser to gather some coins for gastric bypass surgery tomorrow at the Columbus Funny Bone (columbusfunnybone.com). Probably to lose weight, but knowing Bob, perhaps to shrink his stomach enough to get crocked on two beers.
Usually benefit shows are pretty strange in that as a comic, they sometimes don’t tell you all the details…or you’re not paying attention since they are being done for free. Once I showed up to a cancer benny (that’s what us stars call benefits) and found out that kids were present. As in five and six year old range. That was a lovely mad scramble to come up with jokes in about ten minutes that wouldn’t scar children for life.
I think my favorite was the show where I realized a “signer” was onstage with me. I spent the whole week dreaming up vile and disgusting things I wanted to see someone have to sign out as my devil horns popped out in pure evil ecstasy. Then I got there and they told me nothing too dirty or cursing. I died a little that night. I still managed to tell the signer onstage she was a lucky woman and not to take credit for my jokes with all the deaf people. She was a pro – she signed away, but I could feel the hate in her stare. I had fun.