No, I’m not referring to that pothead down the hall’s dorm room in college, I’m referring to the area where big stars of comedy, music and the like get to relax before the show. At my level, it’s not always very glamourous. That said, most of the rooms don’t have one at all. My show last weekend was nice, but it was in a theater – one room. So the green room was the alley behind the building.
Nothing says posh settings like another drunk comedian peeing between cars or a homeless man rooting through the cigarettes, looking for one just long enough to get a hit from. That’s not humor, I’ve actually seen those before my act. The best part about a separate area, though, is that you don’t have to interact with anyone. There’s nothing more awkward than not having your best set, then walking right over to the bar that just watched you eat it and attempt to sit civily with them. All the while, you don’t feel stares, you feel the non-stares as the crowd attempts to break their necks to avoid making eye contact with the lowly failed jester. Away with thee! Wench, pour another flagon of ale! This still beats the lonely t-shirt sales pitch after a show when no one buys anything, but it’s a close second sitting next to a guy with a sleeveless tee and mesh Jack Daniel’s hat purposely turning his stool away from you, silently judging you between shots of Old Crow washed down with Bud Ice and Marlboro Mediums.