There were too many I found out, but here is my tribute to whomever invented, or has ever contributed to, air conditioning. Thank you, mostly for the coolness, but also for the lack of body odor (I’m pointing at you, balls and armpits). How did people live before this? Answer – they did horribly boring things like read books. I ain’t gots to read no books nohow, I haves the internets. Take that knowledge! Seriously, when you’re wearing a full suit and it’s 99 degrees out, you sit under a tree, pray for breeze and read a book.
Even to break it down further, the sheer necessity for deodorant and Gold Bond is overwhelming. I can’t walk to my car without the cool dryness of Gold Bond powder, let alone if I’ve been farming all day. Maybe that’s why people died at 51, they were too damn hot and stinky. “You have the pox, Ephraim.” “Eh, let me die. It’s early May and my yambag is already stuck to mine leg.” “Good point. Now excuse me while I knock up my wife who has never shaved anything, but in fairness, I don’t know what toothpaste is.” Old time stuff sucks.
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