Ah, the warmer weather means only one thing – adult no talent softball is back. At least I assumed it was warmer. I stepped outside and realized it was low 50’s and I had nothing but a tee and mesh shorts. Good start to the season. I casually told a teammate this was good groin pullin’ weather.
We got run-ruled game one, 21-6, which was OK, because that means game two would start earlier, which is my motivating factor. My stellar team made about 12 errors (yes, I helped with that stat) and two guys struck out, which is impressive for slow pitch softball. Game two we really pulled it together/got lucky and won 19-3. Mostly luck. I got another hit, but karma and irony struck as I literally, you guessed it! – I pulled my groin. I would like to say my team rallied around my injury to win, but everyone just called me grandpa and a shit stain, plus we were up by ten runs, so no Rudy moment here. I now run about seven miles per hour, down from my usual 12 mph. Why did I sign up for this again?
Luckily, we were done way early, so that means bar time, the most important part of this antiquated ritual. Unluckily, some assclown decided to play five techno songs in a row. Nothing against gay people, but nothing says gay sex to me like a bunch of dudes listening to techno music in a dive bar on a Wednesday. Boo techno music. I think next year, I’ll sign up for something I’m good at, like trivia night or a sport that relies on surliness and sarcasm over actual running and moving.