“I needed a vacation from my vacation!” This means you are just back from vacation. I haven’t had a week off work since I lost my job in early 2009. That was not a relaxing week. Before that, my last week off was spent in Cabo San Lucas in 2004, where I ran out of money and survived off beef jerky and granola bars for three days until my direct deposit hit Thursday at midnight. Kiss my ass complaining about how stressful your drunken week at the beach was.
“If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes!” It’s February and 32 degrees. In five minutes, will I be grilling out with a cold beer in my hand? No. Shut your dirty mouth.
“You working hard or hardly working?” I doing neither, I am instead engaged in inane drivel disguised as adult conversation, if you must ask.
“There are two types of people in this world: _____ and _____.” If that statement is not filled in with idiots and people that agree with me, I’m not interested in hearing anymore.