As teased yesterday (you’re probably saying what or who cares), here’s my brief list of things I tried onstage Wednesday of things that annoyed me that day:
– Lance Armstrong. Not because he cheated, but because he made bicycling a conversation strangers brought up around me. Burn in hell.
– Parents who pierce their baby’s ears. That is more white trash than a free Marshall Tucker Band concert at a county fair in Louisiana.
– Dry wedding receptions. Are you Mormon? No? Then here’s your gift. I took back the cash from the card and replaced it with an old Subway gift card.
– Facebook political reposter. Oh, thanks for the “truth” about the issues…which you reposted directly from the candidate’s website. I’m sure that’s not biased.
– And finally Taylor Swift. I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever like your music. Boo hoo, I’m a pretty, white, 22 year old multi millionaire…I’m so heart broken. No wonder you keep getting dumped. Katy Perry’s music sucks, but at least she puts on tight shirts and jumps up and down. Buy some boobs or a new songwriting team and shut the fuck up.
That felt better. Enjoy your weekend.