I’ve only had to perform totally clean a couple times before, and only once wearing dress clothes, which sucked, because I had to do both here. The guy working with me was cool enough to go first, since I was called that day to fill in. The show was in an old theater, so it was very throwback to walk from behind a curtain and have a pitcher of water onstage. I’m more used to a bucket of beer. The show went very well and surprisingly, I didn’t curse other than damn and hell, but that doesn’t count since I usually say much worse.
After the show, I had some super rich people compliment my set. At this point, I was thinking I should have brought a cup for cannistering for change like when I was playing baseball for the Springfield Lions club. The guy running the show then gave me a pass to go to the casino and I was all in…until he mentioned “They will provide you a jacket at the door.” No thanks, my hypocrisy has its limits. I’ll just drive back to the hotel and listen to outlaw country. In ten minutes I went from the most high end hotel in West Virginia with a jacket policy to a Super 8, drinking the good part of an 18 pack of Busch Light tweeting about how Cris Carter got screwed by the NFL Hall of Fame. Back to basics.