Yet another open mike last night. There is a workshop beforehand where newbies ply their material to make sure they’re not going to rip their pants off and do cartwheels. Yet, they find a way to entertain me endlessly. I watched a brand newb go up pre-show and do a bit. “I don’t drink, b/c I hate to puke. Plus, I can crank one out (he acted out the “crank out”) and sit in it.” He went on, but my brain shut off.
My good pal Dan, a professional comic, opined afterwards. “You lost me. How does not drinking relate to what followed?” To my endless enjoyment, he explained – “Well, see…I don’t drink…b/c I love to “crank one out” (he then paused to make sure it sunk in and once again did the jerk off hand motion) then sit in it.” At this point, I was taking a pull of my delicious beer and I ejaculated a laugh that made me gag on the Bud Select. I began to choke, when the manager of the open mike, laughing, slapped me on the back – “Are you OK?” Yes, just enjoying the detailed breakdown by dumbass. Dan’s point wasn’t what is the order of the lines, it was how the blue hell do you bring up not drinking and wind up sitting in your spooge? The fact that he didn’t get that and broke it down made my Wednesday. See what you miss behind the scenes?