It wouldn’t be fair to talk about my show last weekend without leading in with the last time I was here. I got a gig, checked into the hotel, and drove over to the show. About 15 minutes before the show (where I was supposed to do 30 minutes), a guy said to me, “Where’s your buddy?” Me: “What?” Him: “The other comic.” “I have no clue.” He walked away. About five minutes later, he said “Well he’s late, you have to do the show until he gets here.” OK, terrific.
They were merciful and delayed the show a whopping five minutes. I went up and did one hour of comedy…then ran out o’ jokes. I then paused and told the crowd what was going on. I then proceeded to tell tales from my misfit past for the next 25-30 minutes and ran out of those. Much to my benefit, the headliner walked in and I got the hell off the stage, but thankfully, the crowd stood up and applauded. Every once in awhile people are pretty damn cool.
I got no extra pay, but the bar comped my tab and I took full advantage of it. The headliner, to his credit, drove me to the hotel and then back to my car in the morning. I am pretty sure he hated my guts for that, but I really didn’t give a hot shit after doing everything but tap dancing to fill 90 minutes of stage time. Showbusiness! Dance for me, you puppet! Sigh…