(See previous blog for back story) With the last moron of the evening passing out on the deck blaring Garth Brooks, it is a wonder the cops didn’t just torch our cabin, but they entered uninvited at five am. Of course, they didn’t need permission b/c the front door was wide open. My pal was passed out with his shirt off on the floor. He was the first one to get the wake up call. As he stood up, the slices of cheese we had slapped on his back began to fall off.
By the time I was found, everyone else had been processed and ticketed or let go (being over 21). I am a sound sleeper/pass outer, so I slept through the whole ordeal. I awoke to the sound of “Get up boy!” and a flashlight in my face. I thought it was my buddies, so I did nothing. “Got any ID?” I tossed the cover aside, grabbed my morning wood and grumbled, “Here’s my ID, you cocksucker!” “This is the State Highway Patrol, son. Put on your trousers.” Unphazed, I said, “I don’t have any trousers, but I have pants.” Well, he didn’t appreciate my sunny personality, so he got two other officers to drag me out of bed and get a ticket for underage consumption. No beer in the cabin, no breathalyzer, no admission of drinking, but I still got a ticket. I was pretty hot, but I realized innocent men get jail for murder and rape, so I can’t exactly complain. Side note: my other underage friend got out of it by running into the bathroom and faking a shit for 30 minutes. The cops just gave up and let him go. When in doubt, sit on the pot. Fight the power!