I have been to 52 weddings, 53 is tomorrow. This is not normal, but I know a lot of people. There is nothing lamer than a dry reception. I will not speak of this. I have been a best man twice, given three best man speeches (long story, but the best man had the oratory skills of a dog turd), a groomsman ten times, and taken off my shirt at three weddings. My favorite moment was when I sang “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at a winery in SE Ohio (sadly, I have done this twice, not surprisingly, in SE Ohio). My least fav was when someone actually taped me dancing at a wedding. I was so embarrased I gave up drinking for almost 36 hours. Only like 10 of these 52 weddings have ended in divorce, so I feel like I am a bastion of romance. When you think of everlasting love and full life committment, think of Chris Coen. Drunk. With a wife beater. Yelling offensive comments to your grandma. Dancing with scotch on his shirt. Let’s start a family, America.