The biggest/most pointless news of the week was the final release of two Americans (the other one got released earlier) from an Iranian prison after two years. Oh joyous day! How did they get there, pray tell? They were hiking…on the Iraq/Iran border…in 2009. Then they got out and trashed American prisons also – citing the Iranian guards’ propaganda. This requires a few points.
First, who the blue hell hikes in general? What a dumb idea. I don’t like hiking in Ohio. Let’s travel to a small mountain and walk around until we pull a muscle, get jean rash, contract lyme disease from a deer tick, and possibly fall off and die or lose a limb that guy in 127 Hours who sawed his own arm off with a pocket knife. Wheee! More importantly, who hikes in the Middle Fucking East? To the west, Iraq, site of two American wars since 1991. To the east, Iran, which is run by radical Islamists and a bearded midget who denies the existence of gays and oh by the way, says the Zionist state of Israel should be eradicated, due to the Jews. Who else said things like that…oh that’s right, Hitler!
Finally, why trash America on the way out? Have you been to Gitmo or did you take that nice religious fascist guard’s word for it as he butt stroked your sissy ass with a Soviet era assault rifle? I’d listen to that guy, he clearly knows human rights like the back of his hand, which will be cut off if he pilfers a loaf of bread. You know what? You’re dumber than the chick who just had Kevin Federline’s 48th baby. Shut your dirty hippie mouth and enjoy the free country you have so much disdain for. (Fireworks in background, bald eagle flies overhead, craps on picture of Ahmadinejad)