I know I’m not old, but why has my urination pressure dropped? “Shake it more than once and you’re playing with it!” I say, “Shake it less than five times, I’m soaked in my own pee.” Also, my knee hurts. I used to squat 455 lbs. I haven’t worked out my legs in two years and my knees crack like a dry twig every time I stand up. I can’t read my texts w/out reading glasses and I now spend 20 minutes a week looking for back hairs, who are scouts for the advancing ass hair cavalry ready to charge from the southern hinterlands and overwhelm my pristine hairless back. By the way, I need my reading glasses to see these hairs. What joys lie ahead? Bald spots and beer gut? I will never celebrate another birthday.
2 Replies to “Early 30’s complaints”
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Remember, you are only as old as you feel. I think that really means ‘look’
Hmm…Sounds like you have it pretty rough. I’m not really sure how bad of shape you’re in considering you haven’t done manual labor for more than one maybe two months at the most in your entire life. Try being 200 lbs overweight, a pack a day smoker, and then couple that with some of the worst back hair east of the Mississippi. And I have to use reading glasses to find my penis. I wish you could experience the soul crushing ineptitude that is my life at 32. At least I’m not likely to make it past 50.