My niece’s bday party is coming up soon, so naturally a party is pending. For some reason, my sister asked me to play guitar and sing some Justin Bieber songs for the enjoyment of my niece. A few problems –
1. I don’t know any Justin Bieber songs. Not one. I have never consciously heard a Bieber tune in my life. The newest album I bought on iTunes was Disturbed’s newest one.
2. I can’t sing. I have a deep voice, so I can half-ass some outlaw country. That’s about it. Plus, I can’t really play guitar beyond some grunge riffs and basic chords and my skills are on the decline. Lastly on this, Bieber doesn’t exactly have a lot of acoustic riffs.
3. If Bieber had six testicles, I would have a deeper voice.
4. If I walk into a kid’s party dressed like Bieber, someone is calling the cops, and rightly so.
I can only logically assume someone has kidnapped my sister and replaced her. Please help immediately.
Hmmm… something doesn’t add up here. In line number 1 you claim to have never consciously heard a Bieber tune in your life. In line 2 you attest that “Bieber doesn’t exactly have a lot of acoustic riffs.” How would someone who has never consciously heard a Bieber tune know enough about his catalog to state that he didn’t have a lot of acoustic rifts? The answer is simple. The last album you purchased was not Disturbed’s newest one as you claim but in fact the soundtrack to Justin Bieber’s movie “Never Say Never”. You my friend, have the fever. Bieber Fever.
AS FANCY AS THIS WORLD WEB WIBE SITE IS I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE BIEBS