I have watched a ton of movies recently and here are my short, simple minded reviews. The Hurt Locker – Roadside bombs are best handled by white trash psychos. Inception – I need to do more drugs to write a good thriller action movie. Also, DiCaprio movies are 70% likely to be good if he has facial hair; 30% if he doesn’t. Kick Ass – 10 year old girls make better fighters cialis dosage than 17 year male nerds. Machete – White people like to kill Hispanics crossing the border, until a 66 year grabs lawn care tools and murders for the common good. (Is it racist that he smacked around people with a week wacker and lawn shears? You be the judge.) Bad Lieutenant – It had Nicholas Cage in it. I can’t watch two Cage movies in the same year. The Blankey by Future Friend Comedy – Chris Coen needed a bigger role.