CHRIS COEN

I MC’d the Columbus Funny Bone and a new comic was asking for advice before the show.  He was very nice until he got onstage and had no material.  He decided to call the manager a douchebag 4 times and the rest of the comics fags.  Probably not a good move.  “When can you start this sales job?”  “Thanks for the offer pedophile!  I’ll start cheap generic cialis as soon as you fire the other commie Nazi rapists.”  “OK, you can start Monday!”  He told me after the show he was nervous, but I don’t think nervousness and Tourette’s are in the same category.  SHIT!  You look nice tonight, thanks for going to dinner with me.  DEVIL WHORE!  I think we have a lot in common.  I AM A SERIAL KILLER!  Have you tried the chicken parm?  RAPE POPSICLE!  It’s really good.

I did a show tonight with a homosexual pothead, a metrosexual, a guy wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, a cross dresser, a musician, a virgin, and me.  It was awesome.  I feel like after a lineup like that I have to wear a holster and carry a handgun.  I just start shooting foreigners and telling buy cialis usa militia jokes.  OK, maybe too much, but I have noticed there are less and less alpha males running around.  Are women now only into twinks and vampires?  As I type this I am listening to speed metal and drinking sweet delicious Busch Light.  Maybe alpha males are dinosaurs like Bocephus sings, but I like to think somewhere in America some angry dude like me is listening to Pantera and beating up a hippie.  God bless America.

Insight to being a comic…I did a show in West Virginia which was sup. to start at 9, it started at 10:40.   I had to be up at 7 am in Cbus and so needless to say I was a salty SOB.  Show was fine until some dumb cunny started hecklin’ like she was on commission.  I dealt with the moron then drove back and realized no amount of ciggy poos or sugar free Rock Star can overcome deep cialis chicago exhaustion.  2 hours sleep is a lot worse in application than in theory.  Thank you, nicotine!  You’re the best!

I was recently interviewed by a small paper for my Sat. show in which the reporter asked me the difference between a bar and a venue set adcirca vs cialis up for shows.  My exact quote was “Venues are nice b/c the crowd is there to see comedy.  If you go to a bar, 15% of the crowd is there to see you and 85% say “who is this piece of shit w/ the microphone.”  He changed piece of shit to (guy), but at least he quoted me correctly.  I did an interview w/ one of my best friends and former college roommate, Justin Camp, in which I said “We’ve been good friends for a while, it’s cool that we both do comedy.”  That morphed into “Camp and Coen have had a special bond since they lived together.”  It was accompanied by a pic from 2 a.m. where we were uncomfortably close and not sober.  The reporter might as well have said, “Camp and Coen are life partners.”  I would totally be the top, by the way.  I am very aggressive.  Being misquoted sucks.

I just found out tonight that a show where I was sup. to perform w/ a comic that was on “Down and Dirty w/ Jim Norton” on HBO is when I am going to Vegas to be in a wedding.  That sucks hard, but at least I’ll be in Vegas.  The first time I was inVegas I could smell the sin coming off the tarmack.  Needless to say, it is my favorite place on Earth.  Gambling, debauchery, and you can drink on the street.  I think when I die, if I have been a good boy, I go to Vegas with an unlimited bankroll.  cialis pill cutter A girl can dream.  Then again, anyone assoc. w/ Jim Norton is awesome.  Oh well.

Feel free to subscribe (just click the word “register” by the GO button and enter info on the next screen) – you’ll get updates on shows, blogs, etc.  Pictures and videos accessible through the social network sites – including pictures of me drunk!  Which are almost all pictures, since I’m usually drunk.  Speaking of social network sites, I usually hate all groups like “Support cancer survivors in Burma” and “Farmville super fans”, but I recently joined “Can this dill pickle get more fans than Nickleback?”  It could be any band and I’d join b/c that cialis cheapest is just good old fashioned fun.  Shows this week are in Cadillac, MI and Zanesville, OH – Sat, then Sunday at the Barn at 9 p.m.