Sometimes dreams come true…

I was at a bar tonight and the classic “I don’t smoke, but let me borrow 57 cigarettes” crew was out in force.  I smoke when I drink, I go up to four days a pop w/ nothing, but when I go out, I buy a pack.  I got hit up for 7 nicosticks in 5 mins. when some dude asked me for one.  Normally, I would have said “go pound sand”, but at cialis without prescription this point it was a free for all.  I handed him one and he said, “This dude is cool, first one to give me a smoke in 3 hours.”  Then he handed me a $20.  The heavens opened up and smiled on my miserable self.  This is proof good things happen to bad people.  For all the times I warded off a homeless bum on High Street with a cancer stick, I finally got redemption.  This of course means that something bad is lurking around the bend…but for once, Coen wins.  Take that, life!

Podcast on the way

Chatting with Morons featuring me, Bob Cook, and Anthony O’Connell on the way, we cover current events and our comedic mishaps – editing right now, hopefully should be up soon on iTunes daily cialis and my website.   Stay tuned.

Advice?

I MC’d the Columbus Funny Bone and a new comic was asking for advice before the show.  He was very nice until he got onstage and had no material.  He decided to call the manager a douchebag 4 times and the rest of the comics fags.  Probably not a good move.  “When can you start this sales job?”  “Thanks for the offer pedophile!  I’ll start cheap generic cialis as soon as you fire the other commie Nazi rapists.”  “OK, you can start Monday!”  He told me after the show he was nervous, but I don’t think nervousness and Tourette’s are in the same category.  SHIT!  You look nice tonight, thanks for going to dinner with me.  DEVIL WHORE!  I think we have a lot in common.  I AM A SERIAL KILLER!  Have you tried the chicken parm?  RAPE POPSICLE!  It’s really good.

Comedy wackiness…did I spell that right?

I did a show tonight with a homosexual pothead, a metrosexual, a guy wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, a cross dresser, a musician, a virgin, and me.  It was awesome.  I feel like after a lineup like that I have to wear a holster and carry a handgun.  I just start shooting foreigners and telling buy cialis usa militia jokes.  OK, maybe too much, but I have noticed there are less and less alpha males running around.  Are women now only into twinks and vampires?  As I type this I am listening to speed metal and drinking sweet delicious Busch Light.  Maybe alpha males are dinosaurs like Bocephus sings, but I like to think somewhere in America some angry dude like me is listening to Pantera and beating up a hippie.  God bless America.

Whatever

Insight to being a comic…I did a show in West Virginia which was sup. to start at 9, it started at 10:40.   I had to be up at 7 am in Cbus and so needless to say I was a salty SOB.  Show was fine until some dumb cunny started hecklin’ like she was on commission.  I dealt with the moron then drove back and realized no amount of ciggy poos or sugar free Rock Star can overcome deep cialis chicago exhaustion.  2 hours sleep is a lot worse in application than in theory.  Thank you, nicotine!  You’re the best!

Interviews

I was recently interviewed by a small paper for my Sat. show in which the reporter asked me the difference between a bar and a venue set adcirca vs cialis up for shows.  My exact quote was “Venues are nice b/c the crowd is there to see comedy.  If you go to a bar, 15% of the crowd is there to see you and 85% say “who is this piece of shit w/ the microphone.”  He changed piece of shit to (guy), but at least he quoted me correctly.  I did an interview w/ one of my best friends and former college roommate, Justin Camp, in which I said “We’ve been good friends for a while, it’s cool that we both do comedy.”  That morphed into “Camp and Coen have had a special bond since they lived together.”  It was accompanied by a pic from 2 a.m. where we were uncomfortably close and not sober.  The reporter might as well have said, “Camp and Coen are life partners.”  I would totally be the top, by the way.  I am very aggressive.  Being misquoted sucks.