CHRIS COEN

I hate to sound old, but I played catch phrase with 5 other dudes tonight and four were texting or playing cell phone games the entire time, delaying the game.  I like to think this is a horrible modern phenomenon.  I doubt Wild Bill was sitting on a dead man’s hand of aces over eights and someone shot him b/c his chick needed to tell him the Bachelor was cool.  Put the phone down, dummies.  Step away.  I think in a couple years Peyton cialis average age Manning’s wife will affect the outcome b/c he takes a text while dropping back to pass.  “The Daily Show was super funny, LOL!”  “I’m trying to win another title.”  “You never listen to me!”  Probably better than the Super Bowl being decided b/c Ben Roethlisberger is groping the Dallas Cowgirls, but come on fellas.  Put down the attention tool and play euchre like a man.

On July 4th, I am reminded of my trip to D.C.  I went to the National Archives to see the Declaration, Constitution, and Bill of Rights.  Despite many verbal warnings and about 9 signs to turn your flashes off, some moron teen snapped a flash, damaging the documents of our freedom.  Then I went to the Lincoln Monument and some mouth breathing chick looked upon the Gettysburg Address and declared “Who said that?”  Her equally useless friend said “Thomas Jefferson.”  Then I went to the Korean War memorial and despite a couple signs reading “Coins stain the fountain”, several window lickers pitched their coins in the pool for the Freedom Fairy low dose cialis cost to grant them their magic wishes.  Combined w/ our horrible politicians (both parties, idealists) stealing our money and freedoms, I was pretty much fire pissed at that point.  Then we went to the Vietnam War Memorial and I saw my Dad find one of his HS classmates, a father, who was decapitated by a helicopter blade.  My father’s emotion at that dark black wall made me realize that as long as one is willing to fight for freedom, there is hope for all of us.  Thomas Jefferson said, “The only death a democracy can die is by its own hand.”  As long as we have people who realize that the history of humanity is one of oppression and our naton was founded upon the revolutionary ideas that we as individuals don’t have to bow to a government, tyrant, or monarch, then we will survive and thrive.  God bless all those who fight for freedom.  It is a fleeting whisper in the ear of human history.  This country was founded on a dream.  We haven’t been perfect, but we are closer in the USA than any other nation has been in the course of humanity.  People who bitch that we suck are short sighted boobs at best.  Jefferson also said, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”  Today, remember our patriots and oppose the tyrants.  “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” – George Washington.  Well said, sir.  “Agitate, young man, agitate.” – Frederick Douglass.  Oppose the “norm.”  Never let anyone curb your freedoms, never take freedom for granted.  Happy Birthday America.

 I got a text invite to a cookout on America’s bday.  The end said “BYOB  brats burgers and chicken  will eat around four  children welcome.”  My phone cut off the last word so I inexpensive cialis just saw “will eat around four  children.”  What a party!  I am going to be stuffed.

I just featured for Kyle Kinane, one of the hottest acts up and coming in the US (very funny BTW).  He told me after the show that I was going to make it.  (This month is my three year of starting comedy.)  It felt good.  Not quite as good as getting my own Comedy Central special or feeling the love of a woman or not cialis reactions shitting my pants…but still good.  GIVE ME WORK YOU BASTARDS!  I have no other purpose other than to make people laugh and I’m G/D good at it.  If you love birthday cake and Jesus and America, you will book me.  Captain America said that.  Are you calling Cap a liar?  Guess what?  There’s a shield heading towards your face.  Take that commie!

I went to the grocery this weekend and spent $110.  cialis tablets for sale $35 on bourbon, $17 on a 30 pack, and $12 on a cohiba cigar.  That means I spent $64 on booze and tobacco and $46 on food.  I have to quit eating, this food shit is getting ridiculous.

Every comedian starts at open mics and every comedian needs open mics to stay on top on his/her game, try new material, and meet other comics and bookers.  They are unpaid, start late, run later, there’s 29 comics in the show and at best some drunk fat dude says, “You’re kinda funny.  You know my friends say I’m funny…(15 minutes later) so I going to run this by you (another 10 minutes)…what do you think?”  That being said when you kick ass in a room full of drunk people annoyed that you’re interrupting their sporting event or pool game or inane conversation – it feels pretty fantastic.  Take that, generic brand for cialis open mic!  Now I go home sleep deprived so I can feel like dirt tomorrow.