Author: Chris

I did a show tonight with a homosexual pothead, a metrosexual, a guy wearing a Bill Cosby sweater, a cross dresser, a musician, a virgin, and me.  It was awesome.  I feel like after a lineup like that I have to wear a holster and carry a handgun.  I just start shooting foreigners and telling buy cialis usa militia jokes.  OK, maybe too much, but I have noticed there are less and less alpha males running around.  Are women now only into twinks and vampires?  As I type this I am listening to speed metal and drinking sweet delicious Busch Light.  Maybe alpha males are dinosaurs like Bocephus sings, but I like to think somewhere in America some angry dude like me is listening to Pantera and beating up a hippie.  God bless America.

Insight to being a comic…I did a show in West Virginia which was sup. to start at 9, it started at 10:40.   I had to be up at 7 am in Cbus and so needless to say I was a salty SOB.  Show was fine until some dumb cunny started hecklin’ like she was on commission.  I dealt with the moron then drove back and realized no amount of ciggy poos or sugar free Rock Star can overcome deep cialis chicago exhaustion.  2 hours sleep is a lot worse in application than in theory.  Thank you, nicotine!  You’re the best!

I was recently interviewed by a small paper for my Sat. show in which the reporter asked me the difference between a bar and a venue set adcirca vs cialis up for shows.  My exact quote was “Venues are nice b/c the crowd is there to see comedy.  If you go to a bar, 15% of the crowd is there to see you and 85% say “who is this piece of shit w/ the microphone.”  He changed piece of shit to (guy), but at least he quoted me correctly.  I did an interview w/ one of my best friends and former college roommate, Justin Camp, in which I said “We’ve been good friends for a while, it’s cool that we both do comedy.”  That morphed into “Camp and Coen have had a special bond since they lived together.”  It was accompanied by a pic from 2 a.m. where we were uncomfortably close and not sober.  The reporter might as well have said, “Camp and Coen are life partners.”  I would totally be the top, by the way.  I am very aggressive.  Being misquoted sucks.

I just found out tonight that a show where I was sup. to perform w/ a comic that was on “Down and Dirty w/ Jim Norton” on HBO is when I am going to Vegas to be in a wedding.  That sucks hard, but at least I’ll be in Vegas.  The first time I was inVegas I could smell the sin coming off the tarmack.  Needless to say, it is my favorite place on Earth.  Gambling, debauchery, and you can drink on the street.  I think when I die, if I have been a good boy, I go to Vegas with an unlimited bankroll.  cialis pill cutter A girl can dream.  Then again, anyone assoc. w/ Jim Norton is awesome.  Oh well.

Feel free to subscribe (just click the word “register” by the GO button and enter info on the next screen) – you’ll get updates on shows, blogs, etc.  Pictures and videos accessible through the social network sites – including pictures of me drunk!  Which are almost all pictures, since I’m usually drunk.  Speaking of social network sites, I usually hate all groups like “Support cancer survivors in Burma” and “Farmville super fans”, but I recently joined “Can this dill pickle get more fans than Nickleback?”  It could be any band and I’d join b/c that cialis cheapest is just good old fashioned fun.  Shows this week are in Cadillac, MI and Zanesville, OH – Sat, then Sunday at the Barn at 9 p.m.

I had a good show last night.  I know it was good because drinks were sent onstage for me, the crowd laughed, and I sold four shirts after the show.  I also know it was a winner when a woman nearly twice my age told me I had a cute little ass and proceeded to molest me in front of her boyfriend/husband/cuckold.  Then another woman told me the only way I could prove that I was not gay was to go to her house and sleep with her.  Despite her interesting cialis prescriptions logic, I declined and she sat on a snowdrift and cried as I stared at her blankly with my cold dead eyes.  Comedy groupies are the worst.  Nothing says “What did I do wrong with my life?” like being fishhooked by a cougar while you pound Old Milwaukee Lights in an Elks Club.