In honor of Jamboree in the Hills (a four day country concert), I thought I would share the story of the worst fight (result) ever. Jambo is an event full of hicks and usually OK country music, some Southern rock, and a whole hell of a lot of drinking. My second year there I was in the general campgrounds (a field near the ampitheater) when I stumbled upon a unique device, a homemade foam party. Some redneck had hooked up an industrial fan, a hose, and a soap feed to a telephone pole, sectioned it off, then filled the area with foam.
Drunk chicks got in to the waist deep foam, which meant drunk dudes followed. One lanky young man jumped and stripped down naked and began to grind. Apparently, one of the spectators was married to/dating the young lady and was either pissed in principle or intimidated by the huge mule swinging to and fro (it was freakish, frankly, no wonder he was quick to go sans pants). He jumped in and cheap shotted (yes, that’s a word) ol’ horse boy, dropping him into the foam. He started walking away, but naked guy was not out. He chased clothed guy down and beat him, still nude FYI, in the roadway. So not only did his manhood get mocked in front of his lady, he also lost a fight he started…to a naked man. As this all went down, a toothless drunk guy in his late 50’s recorded the whole thing, wheezing w/ laughter, saying, “You won’t ever see this shit again.” I hope he’s right, for a lot of reasons. The good thing was that during the ruckus, I was able to snag two cold beers from the unsuspecting party and sneak out unnoticed. I call the whole thing a small victory.