2000’s Chris – “I don’t know why in the hell you would buy IPA beer. It tastes like someone is dumping hops down your throat. Might as well lick a 9 volt battery, it’s so bitter.”
Now Chris – “Oh God, I have time to drink one beer tonight, maybe two. Do have anything that has 30.5% alcohol? IPA? $22 a six pack? SOLD!”
2000’s Chris – “I got a new video game, I’m going to hammer down some beers and play until 3 am.”
Now – “I got a new video game. I am going to drink a beer..” (Wakes up three hours later in dark, on chair, neck cocked to side and in tremendous pain, game still on start screen, beer almost completely full and warm)
2000’s Chris – “I had five beers and have to pee? I must have broke the seal.”
Now – “I smelled a beer from across the room. I’ve pissed nine times in the last 54 minutes. I’ll probably be hungover tomorrow also.”