I got to do a unique show last night – the “Last Realtor Standing” at the Funny Bone. For this one, I actually had to work with a realtor that had never done stand-up ever. I had no idea how it would work, especially since there is no such thing as a comedy coach except maybe in a shitty Adam Sandler movie post 1999.
My student/poor soul that got my stupid ass as a coach called me up, “I’ve been watching a lot of stand-up to prepare.” All I did the first time was drink nine beers and piss a table of mid-20’s girls off. She was off to a good start. Second thing that came up – “Should I do my own material or use other people’s?” Hmm. Send me your stuff. Then I’ll answer.
The best part of coaching was that two of the realtors actually came to my open mic and saw the madness that is a free stage for people. One of comics talked about mental issues extensively and another decided to extrapolate on oral sex and I could see the pure terror in both of their faces. My advice afterwards was simple. “Be cleaner and less scary than that.”
My protege did very well – apparently she didn’t drink nine beers like I did. The show was a hit, but Team Coen didn’t win. If comedy contests were like Facebook, I should have just shown baby pictures and I would have pulled off the victory.