Easter was great with my family, except the food. It was delicious, but I spent the week losing 8 lbs. After ham, cheesy potatoes, and give or take about 12 pies, I pretty much gained back all the weight in three hours. Oh, and taking a huge shit is not a doctor recommended way to lose the poundage, but it is fun to weigh yourself before and after. Yes, I’m weird.
The worst for me was our frat cook. She was a really wonderful lady, but one summer I busted my ass and went from 209 to 171 in just 11 weeks. I was pretty cut, thanks to healthy eating and being too poor to drink every night. School started and our cook promptly made hot pockets and pizza burgers, all soaked on the range with this magical shit called “Whorl.” It made everything tasty, but added around 1800 calories per ounce. Strangely, everyone’s farts smelled the same too. Someone would rip ass and we were scientifically unable to tell who the death merchant was…because everyone had the same flavor. Within three weeks, I was back up to 200. Oh well, it’s not as if chicks were swarming my drunken ass anyway. “You know, that Chris Coen is looking good…oh, he just did a flip off the top rail of the staircase and knocked himself out. Well, it is seven pm, after all. That’s normal.”