Apparently some people don’t know how this works, so here’s some rules.
Take one means take two if no one’s looking, but taking three is just a bridge too far, Aiden. Get your damn greedy mitts out of my bowl.
If you’re driving a car and not wearing a costume, you’re getting called out. MCD’S IS OFFERING SIGNING BONUSES NOW PIMPLE FACE, GET YOUR ASS A JOB AND LEAVE THE CANDY FOR KIDS.
If you have fifteen $200 blow up spiders and Jack Skellingtons in your yard, but aren’t giving away candy, you are a scumbag. Your front yard decorations cost more than car is worth and you can’t give away a couple Zagnuts? I’m joining the teenage no costume kids later and egging your house.
CANDY, PEOPLE, CANDY. NOT LOW CAL SNACK BAGS, GLUTEN FREE WHATEVER, GIVE MY KIDS (aka me when they’re asleep) SUGAR AND CHOCOLATE OR STICK THE FIBER ONE WHATEVER WHERE THE COBWEBS GROW.
Lastly, it must be in the unwritten law of the universe that it has to rain every year. Apparently Mother Nature is giving away hypothermia for Halloween. This is why I hiss like a vampire leaving the house, you mean old bag. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A SEXY NURSE IN THIS WEATHER? C’MON!