New Year’s Eve used to be my favorite holiday when I was much younger, now it’s my least favorite. Well, of the ones you get days off for. Sorry Arbor Day, until I get a day off and don’t have something tied to it, like planting 12 trees or making out with a spruce, you’re still worse. Here’s why it’s plummeted for me: everyone on Facebook suddenly became the arbiters of life rules because the calendar changed. So here’s your offenders.
“New Year, New Me” – This is as old as time. The difference is all the quitters that used to tell you their annoying life plan now put it in writing. If this is 11th year in a row you said you were getting your life together, just be a degenerate at this point, it’s a lifestyle. I thought these people were the worst, but now there’s more.
“Don’t celebrate success, you do you” – I thought the repeating resoluter was bad until I saw this post about 20 times. “Don’t let other people’s success affect you, you keep doing what you’re doing!” So are other people not supposed to post things showing accomplishment? Also, what if that motivates someone to actually change? One of my pet peeves is the random, soulless motivational statement. One that perpetuates mediocrity is worse. If you’re an adult and you don’t know there are people posting their best life as a total fraud, I feel bad for you. If you’re thrown into a tailspin because Randy lost five pounds or Sue finally started that Etsy business, it’s not their fault.
The person that takes their resolution and beats you over the head with it – Take all the last paragraph and ignore it in this case. To give an example, I accepted a friend request a few years ago from someone I didn’t know well, but we had bookoo mutuals, so whatever. I can’t go 48 hours without seeing some post about this person really had a great workout and used to not, but now does and life is amazing oh and here’s a workout selfie. And another one. And another one. And the same post again. And again. Hey did you know I had a great workout today? WE GET IT.
In summation, how about if you want to use New Year’s as a catalyst for change, go for it. Don’t bludgeon with your resolutions and don’t crap on people for changing. In other words, don’t be annoying and try to be less of a piece of garbage. There’s a resolution for everyone. Now let me blog about that for seventeen straight days with selfies until someone tells me I’m success shaming or whatever.