The ability to comment on new stories – If it’s a new story, why is there a comments section? I say ban the comments and make people start up a newspaper or blog. This would keep people from turning a story about pet adoption into a racial or political quagmire.
Sparkling water – Do you like water? Do you like water that tastes like a Sprite Zero that’s been left out on the counter for three days? Then have a refreshing sparkling water!
Plain yogurt – seriously, what does vanilla add? Like 2 calories? Plain yogurt is like, well, I wouldn’t know, but it’s bad. Let’s try this one, snot mixed with a 9 volt battery. It’s awful and I don’t care how much crap you add to it.
85% of kid’s YouTube shows – I had no idea this world existed until a few years ago, but there’s one for example where some weird nasal-voiced white guy goes “Whooooooooaaaaa” everytime he sees something, usually a different color. I haven’t sat down and watched, but his voice alone makes me want to forcibly remove his vocal chords. “It’s a blue ball. Whoooooooooaaaaaaa!!!!! And a red one! Whooooooaaaaa!!!” I’m actually angry just typing this.