Day 3 of our trip, we finally left the Magic Kingdom (boo) to go to the Animal Kingdom (they have alcohol, yay!). However, we first stopped at Chef Mickey for brunch. This was a HOME RUN. Granted, I wouldn’t suggest rolling in as an adult without the warning that it’s a breakfast/brunch with dancing, music and 250 kids running around, but my kids loved it. Plus, insider Disney info – the cheesy potatoes at the buffet are so good, I stuffed the chef into my suitcase and brought him home. He keeps crying for help or whatever, but he ain’t going anywhere until I get enough cheesy potatoes stored up until 2022.
The Animal Kingdom is like a zoo, but with rides and 700 Disney gift shops. We went to Dinoland first, because my daughter isn’t even 3 and half and see already knows Ankylosaurus, Parasoralophus, and a dozen other dinosaurs I can’t pronounce. The biggest mistake I made was playing a carnival game with her. “I want the blue dinosaur with the hat.” I lost the first game shooting the target, but won the second and got a blue dino. It wasn’t the one she wanted, so I had to win four straight to trade in for bigger prizes, because of course, the one she wanted was a tier 3 prize. I stared straight ahead with a steel gaze and blocked out all the screams and cheers around me because I had exactly four game tickets left and did it. I was rewarded with my daughter’s undying gratitude and love for the blue dino with the hat…until she saw a Baby Simba an hour later and had to have that instead.
The Lion King show was good and robotics folks at Disney are insanely talented. This Simba looked like the cartoon version and moved great. I think I may trade the kidnapped Chef back if someone there can make me a big robotic eagle for the house. We also did a safari and the first animal we saw was hosing down a tree, so that was great also. It was so long a piss, the guide had to acknowledge it and move on.
My wife forgot her sunglasses, so I ducked into this shop and looked up. My eyesight isn’t as good as it once was, so I thought these maltballs said meatballs. I was so excited to get meatballs in a bag, then boom – just crappy ol’ maltballs. I THOUGHT THIS PLACE WAS MAGIC, MICKEY! GUESS I’M EATING ICE CREAM AND CANDY LIKE SOME NORMAL PERSON ON VACATION. OK, I’ll forgive you, mouse, you did make me cheesy potatoes earlier. But seriously, work on the meatballs in a bag and I’m joining the Disney vacation club.