After one of my last shows, I had a very drunk man come up and offer me weed. He was about 3 inches from my face and his breath was overwhelming. Luckily for me, he was more interested in the ladies, so he moved on before I had to do something extreme, like set myself on fire or anything more pleasant than speaking to him.
There is a very strange thing that happens after shows, where really drunk people decide it’s a good idea to approach a comic and engage in very strange ways. One guy came up to me and decided to bombard me with stories of his favorite comedian. Not as is in, “have you ever worked with” or “are they an influence” – more just straight up “here’s something I like and you’re going to hear about it.” The worst part is that I was selling shirts and books, so there was no escape. He body shielded anyone that might buy something. I actually did just straight up bail and leave my stuff to the masses after ten minutes. It’s the comedy equivalent of leaving your keys in the ignition in a bad neighborhood, but it was worth it. I ran to the bathroom and noticed he had moved right along to the next comic, showing them the same pictures he had showed me. Probably cost me $100, because the room was packed when I first set up.
Another couple approached me once after a good set. “Oh man, you were funny. We saw a show in Parkersburg about ten years ago, guy was hilarious. Oh what was his name? Um, he was a little taller than you, probably mid 40’s then. Sound familiar? Ever work with him?” First, sounds like he made a great impression. Second, here’s what I have so far. He’s a guy. He’s older than me. That narrows it down to 750 comics it could be. Luckily I have memorized every show done in the United States since 2001! It was…oh wait, no one has. See ya later.
I did the Cincy Brew Ha Ha years ago also after winning the Go Bananas comedy competition. Had a fun set and a guy came up to me afterwards – he had a face tattoo and looked like he had done at least a year in prison. “You’re really funny, we should hang out some time!” Well, I have never been an accessory to a felony…may be worth the material. Let’s set up a playdate.