Remember when you used to eat food when you were hungry – when it was still hot or cold instead of room temperature? When you were tired and used to sleep when that type of feeling hit you? Remember when you thought breastfeeding in public was weird and not dear Lord, anything to get the baby to stop crying?
Remember when you didn’t aggressively support the death penalty, then someone woke up your baby by knocking on the door to get you sign a petition? How about when a baby was crying and all you had to do was leave the room? (Thank God I don’t have to deal with that!) Remember when you thought parents that thought their kids were sick all the time were a little paranoid? When did I shower last? Friday or Tuesday?
The trash needs to go out – oh wait, that was three days ago. Have I fed the dog and cat this week? Is this shirt dirty? Only one stain on it? Yes, it’s clean. Two stains? Fuck it, I’m going to the store anyways. Finally time to read those emails/newspaper/open bills – that email was for a sale last month/newspaper still has regular season baseball scores/this bill is past due. Remember when your neck and/or shoulders didn’t hurt from holding a baby? That time you thought a 12 pound infant wasn’t that heavy, then your arms cramped up, but now you can hold a baby for an hour without feeling it?
Remember when you were going to type a comedy blog and KJL::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Sorry I fell asleep. I’m goinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Fell asleep again. I’ll finish this later. Next week. Maybe. Have I brushed my teeth in the last 67 hours? That, then finish the blog.