Tonight, I’ll be hosting the semi-finals of the Open Mic Talent Search at the Columbus Funny Bone. I have a lot of fun hosting these, it’s great to perform in a contest setting when you’re not actually in the contest. The comics bring a lot of people, then nervously pace around the bar hoping everyone else bombs or their so-called friends no showed like most of theirs did. The crowd usually hates everyone, including the friendly emcee, until someone kills and loosens them up. Due to the shark tank atmosphere, the crowd devours the weak with glares and hate until they get drunk enough to not care anymore.
I have declared to myself every time I get in a contest that I will never do it again, which will be enforced tonight when I see half the contestants get bounced and go home crestfallen. Then I will put down the mic and realize my next performance will be in Cleveland, in front of strangers, most of whom hate me, competing against 11 other comics, who will hate me, for a contest title that I have a one in 48 chance to win. In other words, after next week, I will either be ecstatic…or one of the pissed off 47 swearing I will never do another contest again. See you Monday, Cleveland! www.clevelandcomedyfestival.com