I went to the casino Friday night. En Vogue was there, so it was packed. Granted, it wasn’t the original lineup, but I don’t think anyone knew or cared. I was surprised by how many En Vogue songs I knew and I feel like I need to go to metal bootcamp to purge myself.
I made it over to the blackjack table, which was the most interesting part of the night. I was sitting next to a guy that had old tennis shoes and a t-shirt who was playing two hands at once, $100-$200 a pop, just losing his ass and not even flinching. Then two guys showed up and laid down $75…in one dollar bills. It took about 12 minutes to count it out and the dealer had to practically sledgehammer the money into the hole. After wasting everyone’s time, the more than likely drug dealer guy #2 wouldn’t get off his cell phone, so they booted him off the table. Thanks, dick. Maybe next time, you could bring a sack of pennies!
Sadly, as I placed my last losing bet, I realized every person in there had more disposable income than I did. I saw a woman in a crushed velvet jumpsuit – she had more cash. There was a guy so large, he was sitting on two chairs at once – loaded. A person at the table asked me if they should hit on 11, yes 11 – more money than me. Well, looks like it’s time to quit comedy and start dealing drugs. Then again, chriscoencooksmeth.com probably would not get too much traffic.