Grand Theft Auto

I got a chance to sit down and play Grand Theft Auto 5, which is a fantastic game.  I also had a chance to learn some things about myself.  Most not good.

– I can’t see the screen that well.  I either need a 90″ TV or have stand three feet in front of the one I have.

– Rear wheel drive is pretty accurate, meaning you can’t corner well.  I know this all too well from hydroplaning in a Mercury Grand Marquis about six years ago.  As bad as that was, having my neighbors stare at me as I banged the rear panel back into place with a rubber mallet in one hand and a beer in the other was the most white trash moment of my life.

– I may be one of four people on the earth who likes the oldies station.  Sure, you have your gangster rap, but I just fired a handgun out my window while Michael McDonald sang “What a Fool Believes.”  I’m crazier than you.

– Much like in real life, I can’t work my phone while driving very well.  I see myself in a nursing home, 2049, carjacking hovercrafts in Grand Theft Auto 26 and complaining that I can’t get my microchip phone to work.

– I’m starting to like this running through red lights too much.  I may start to use this in my work commute.  Then I can sleep in another 15 minutes, only at the expense of public safety.  I think it’s worth it.  I’m a good driver, except when I’m trying to text or hydroplaning.  Maybe I should put down my beer and focus on my phone more as I fly through this intersection.