My youngest niece had her song recital tonight. She was clearly the best and quite frankly, I felt bad for the other children who had to be onstage with my prodigy of a niece. I learned a lot, like from the song “Party in the Jungle” I found out that snakes go “sssss”, lions go “roar”, and alligators go “chomp.” I then, through deductive reasoning, learned that a party in the jungle sounds absolutely terrifying. Who picked this awful venue? The drinks are warm and all these damn animals are trying to eat all the guests. The scariest thing at my last party was when people got in their cars to drive home. The tires go “squeal” and the car goes “smash.”