Sometimes you hear things that you never forget, but no one else will ever hear. Here’s a few that stick in my head…
I was at a party at a schoolmate’s house. Her dad said to me and my buddies – “You can touch my daughter, but don’t touch my dog.” Interestingly, I woke up to a guy having sex with his daughter on the couch next to mine.
I was standing behind two hilljacks at a country concert. #1 – “Some guy just got tossed for pissing in the grass. Another one for throwing marshmallows.” #2 – “This shit never happened when we had a white president.” Hope, change, and random mallowin’s!
A girl at a party – “I don’t use birth control. I can’t get pregnant, I’m 36.” Immune to STD’s also! Amazing!
Gay guy to me at a party – “Ever had an orgasm without touching your penis?” Me: “Yes, it was touching a vagina.”