I did a cancer benefit show Saturday and it couldn’t have had more distractions. First off, it was outside at a bar on a river on the first rain free day in three weeks and only about 25 of the 50 people were even aware there was a benefit. The hostess of the event had to wave down everyone that walked in, Harleys rumbled by every two minutes, and to top it off, a boat w/ a bachelorette party floated in. A drunk bachelorette party is the bane of a comedian. LOOK AT US WE’RE PARTYING WOOO HOOO I LOVE TEQUILA MY FRIEND IS AWESOME AND PRETTY AND SO MUCH FUN SHE IS GOING TO HAVE A GREAT LIFE! As an added bonus, I graduated high school w/ the bride to be, so she had a conversation “onstage” w/ me (there was no stage). Then one of guys started pissing in the river about 20 feet to my right. I called him out, then he got upset that I called him out. Turns out I knew that guy also. I have got to quit going to Zanesville. Finally, I promoted the jello shots, which raised $ for the benefit for the woman with cancer. Me: “Buy jello shots unless you love cancer or hate her mom.” Daughter: “My mom’s dead.” Me: “That would have good to know before the show. This is awkward.” The only thing missing was Seal Team Six bursting in and shooting bin Laden during my drunk driving joke.