1. Any stage time early is great. Once you get your act down, some open mikes are useless. If you do a show where there are six people who aren’t paying attention, you’re not building your act, you’re building rage issues and alcoholism.
2. The out of towner/guy who claims he’s a big deal elsewhere is full of shit. When I started, two guys come to mind. One said he was on the Tonight Show and everyone believed him. I pressed him on details and he had none. He couldn’t tell me when it was, how much he was paid, or who else was on the show. Another guy said he was Richard Pryor’s son. Guess what, ass clown? If you’re not funny, you could be Jesus Jr. and I still think you suck.
3. Emcees who do five minutes between every comic at a 25 person open mike are evil. I have things to do and there are four people in the crowd. Move it along.
4. If you have less than ten minutes of jokes, don’t bitch about not getting paid. Who books people for six minutes of jokes?
5. If you’re funny when your friends show up and think you’re awesome…do a show when they quit coming. New comics that bring a ton of friends are like old movies of early aviation. Sure, they get off the ground, but just wait for it…the crash is coming soon, cowboy.