I emceed and closed the first round of the Columbus Funny Bone’s “Open Mike Talent Search, 2011” last night. 44 total comics competing for the chance to win, I had 12 tonight on the lineup. Of those, three were brand new. One of the newbs asked me before the show “Who do I have to talk to get paid work around here?” Good question! He got bounced. Maybe make it past the first round. That helps. Another ran his set by me. This enrages me to the nth degree. I’m the emcee, I’ll see your whole set, stupid. At least let it be fresh and new for five minutes. For my sake. Advice for new comics – if you want to win…try stand up BEFORE the contest. I did comedy for almost a year before entering and I was still a wreck. Also, comedy clubs are a business. If you bring no one and don’t set the stage on fire…you’re probably getting bumped for the dullard that brought 45 people, no matter what. It’s a business. Your jokes < 45 sold tickets and 200+ sold drinks. The last point is that I know great comics that have never won a competition and I have won three. Winning Tulsa’s “Funniest Joke Man” doesn’t mean HBO and Comedy Central are knife fighting like the Jets and the Sharks to host your next five minute special. NO! I want to sell ad space for 25 minutes! This guy is a 300 second prodigy!