I believe in charity. Charity is good. That said, I had a disturbing incident today I have to talk about. I still a have a “real” job and this happened Tuesday. A lady at a non-profit organization called me and here is our conversation, edited for time and interest. Lady: “We need you to send this material to your customer so they can make our product, but you need to give the stuff free.” (Side note: This lady has never talked to my company before and I can’t sell to end users) Me: “Well, I can discount it and even ship it free, but I can’t take a loss, that’s our policy b/c we get so many requests for free materials and we can’t verify the sources or afford to give the stuff away.” Lady: “Well, if you don’t give it to our organization for free, I will call your customers and tell them what you are doing to us and you will lose business.” Eh? “Ma’am, are you blackmailing our company?” “Well, you know what you have to do.” Click. I got mafiosoed by a non-profit health issue based company and I feel less confident in humanity.
I hate tattletales, but I am strongly tempted to call this monster’s boss and report this, even though I am so against that act. Imagine Girl Scouts planting sex offender fliers up in your neighborhood if you don’t buy Thin Mints. As a comic I get asked to do benefit shows all the time, which I mostly do, if they’re worth a damn. The only one I ever turned down was one 110 miles from my house, no gas money paid, to raise money for war protestors to go to Washington. Use your van and your gas money morons, I’ll save the jokes for cancer bennies. I am still debating calling this chick back, but my temper is so awful, it may not be a good plan. I tend to overreact and break things…like office phones and the basic human spirit. I’m like the Incredible Hulk, except less green and more saavy with a VOIP phone system.