Lawrence Taylor just got out of jail time for getting caught with a 16 year old hooker. Lindsay Lohan has violated probation and never served full jail time. This list could go on for days. When I was 19, I got a disorderly conduct for driving through high water. I was once arrested while asleep. In a bed. At six in the morning. I even was ticketed once for my buddy getting pulled over in my car. I wasn’t driving. Basically, my point is that I need to get famous. Then I can pull a Big Ernie McCracken and buy my way out of anything. My goal in life is to be wealthy enough to be able to pee in my yard and not be harrassed. I set the bar high.